Tick Tock

Babies make me cry nowadays.

I thought I've already passed this phase.

Huh, guess not.

It's ticking again, sigh.

Tick tock.

The Psychic Connection

Have you ever had someone calling you just when you were thinking about that person? Or people coming to see you because they suddenly felt like it when at the same time you just thought that you wanted to see them too?

How about the bad vibes; the ones where your whole being just tingles and you know deep inside that something is just gonna go wrong or something has gone wrong?

I don't know what all these feelings are and I can't really explain them, but I've been having them almost all my life. Some of the time I just disregard them because they made no sense at all, but most of the time they are right on. Confused? Yeah well I am too...

Just recently had an unexpected call from a long lost friend. Lately I've been wondering about how that person was doing and if there are any new developments in his life when BOOM! Suddenly today I got a call from him out of nowhere... And this had happened to me more times than I could remember. Not with the same person, but with other friends and family too.

But the one thing that I never want to experience again was when my father passed away. I don't know how or why, but the truth is deep in my heart I knew exactly when it happened. The dread and heaviness and emptiness inside me just got worse and the bad feeling just would not go away that up to a point I even told my friend that I knew something bad had happened and I think he's dead. Spooky? Heck yeah. There was also this one time when I was very young, my grand-aunt told me how I couldn't stop crying like as if I was spooked (macam kena sampuk she said) and at that same moment my mom was actually involved in a car accident somewhere else. Crazy huh..

And don't get me started on my dreams. As weird as they are, some actually did come true. And deja-vu? Well, it's getting worse nowadays because they are getting more and more frequent.

Is this normal? I'm sure a lot of people experienced these before. It's not a biggie, right??

I don't know, maybe these are all just coincidences. Maybe my connection with people close to me are strong. Maybe. Or maybe, I am slowly and gradually losing control of reality and losing my mind...

But don't worry, no need to get me into the straight jacket yet. I am still sane. I think. At least for now.

BULAN BARU

I am not a Twilight-er and I haven't had the chance to read the books yet. The storyline is kinda interesting although I think I much prefer the DarkHunters because of the myths and legend background that are intertwined in the storyline (and they have Acheron!).. Nonetheless I was looking forward to this film interpretation of the sequel to Twilight.

I know a lot of you guys out there are Edward's fans, but if I were Bella I think I'd have chosen Jacob over him. True, vampires are considered cool, but the wolves are waaaaay cooler (as are the WereHunters). I wish I could have one as a pet, hehe..

Edward is as Edward was. Still pale and freakishly good looking, and most of the times emotionless (but hey, he's a vampire right). Tapi yg nak carik nahas sebab nak mati kalau si Bella tu mati apa ke hal nya, hisy... I could never get the idea of off-ing yourself for the sake of love. I think that's why the Bard's Romeo & Juliet tale just doesn't make sense to me. Well, maybe I'm the one that's weird, hmmm...

I tried to give Bella a chance to redeem herself but, nope sorry, still can't say that I empathize with her. I've never liked damsels in distress and brainless careless hopeless damsels are much worse. Just like Sookie (of True Blood), she irritates the heck out of me. Sampaikan satu tahap tu heran gak apa lah si Edward & Jacob see in her, tak paham betul..

Jacob..well, gotta say he's changed. A lot. Thank goodness. Not through so many words he had managed to show his unrequited love for Bella through his actions and I really feel for him. Cian dia.. And dia sangat comel ok, I got distracted from the story because I was concentrating on his facial structure. Sigh...

All in all, the movie was ok. Although not a fan I really enjoyed it. Oh, and it did help that the wolves were smokin' hot... :))

p/s: Bila la diorang nak buat movie pasal DH pulak ni???

What Career Suits Your Personality Type?

And your result is...

INTP - The Thinker

You have a special ability to generate and analyze theories and possibilities to prove or disprove them. Your insight and creative thinking allows you to quickly understand complex abstract ideas. You also have excellent logical and rational reasoning skills which assist you in your drive to seek clarity in all areas. You will be happiest in careers that allow you a great deal of independence and autonomy where you focus on theory rather than practical applications.


Some of your personality traits include:

* Love theory and abstract ideas
* Truth Seekers - you want to understand things by analyzing underlying principles and structures
* Value knowledge and competence above all else
* Have very high standards for performance, which you apply to yourself
* Independent and original, possibly eccentric
* Work best alone, and value autonomy
* Have no desire to lead or follow
* Dislike mundane detail
* Not particularly interested in the practical application of your work
* Creative and insightful
* Future-oriented
* Usually brilliant and ingenious
* Trust your own insights and opinions above others
* Live primarily inside your own mind, and may appear to be detached and uninvolved with other people


Some of your suggested careers are:

* Scientist - especially Physics, Chemistry
* Photographer
* Strategic Planner
* Mathematician
* University Professor
* Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, Computer Animation and Computer Specialist
* Technical Writer
* Engineer
* Lawyers / Attorney
* Judge
* Forensic Research
* Forestry and Park Rangers (like seriously???)

Kuda Hitam

Malam tadi mimpi pasal Kuda Hitam ngan kumpulan musik masa skolah dulu2. Lama dah tak mimpi pasal depa, apahal ntah tiba2 je malam tadi depa muncul. Pelik pulak tu mimpi dia, hisy...

Dulu2 selalu gak mimpi pasal hal2 berkaitan ngan zaman persekolahan. Mungkin rindu nak balik balik zaman muda dulu kot, when we were young and (sort of) free. Memang dah lama tak mimpi lagi dah macam tu, except for malam tadi lah. Rindukan situasi nya ke orang nya? Hahaha, oh tidakkkkk...

Tapi kan, sejak dua menjak ni asyik dok mimpi pelik2 je. Ada tu macam citer drama pulak, siap terjaga tengah malam sebab menangis tersak-esak. Entah hape-hape entah, sabor je lah. Banyak sangat asid dalam badan ni kot, hmmmmmmmmm

I Miss.....

Our daily conversations.

The banter.

The flawless English.

The easy flowing topics & ideas.

The sense of humour & sarcasm.

The acceptance & feeling comfortable in my own skin. Even though we've only just met.


Sigh.....wonder which rock he's been hiding under.....or maybe he's migrated to Mars.

Takde nya nak feeling-feeling ni, kawan je pun. Itu pun takleh ke??
Tak faham betul lah, isy....

Google Schmoogle

I just realized (duh!) that remaining anon about oneself nowadays is impossible, thanks to Mr.GooGle and Ms.EfBee. Armed with only your name (not even your surname) and which school you go to and which year you graduated is enough to gain some quite vital information about yourself. And if you do a thorough search, you can even find photos of yourself all over the web!

Oh dem oh dem oh dem... too convenient for my taste, isk....


p/s: Thanks Mr.ZSS, thanks a lot. Now you're making me more paranoid, as if I wasn't enough already :(

Happiness=Love ?

Not necessarily I'm told.

Am I delusional? Maybe I am.

Huh, apa lah nak jadik dgn ko ni eve oiii.
Dah, bangun. Byk lagi keja ko nak buat weh.
Cukup-cukup ler tu...

Ooooopsssss I Did It Again!

OH MAN!! I did it again! I vowed never again but it still had happened. Darn it heart! I told you not to!! But luckily I still have my wits about me this time, luckily I know what I need to do now.

So I have stopped. Feeling, hoping, wondering, wanting. Everything. I've got to. No way this is going anywhere. No way I'm gonna do anything about it eventhough I know it's mutual. Just NO FRIGGIN' WAY. Enough. No more.

Principles and rules are there for a reason. To prevent complications, deviations & destruction. And so I am sticking with mine, no matter if it would cost me. I still have tons of stuff to do and a long way still before I would achieve my goals.

Too young, Too married, Too gay.

Sigh, so what's the point? I give up.

Home is where the heart is

Since I've been home, this is the only time that I actually have time to surf the net leisurely; before this it always in a rush and on the go. Yeah, that busy I was, but no complaints though, I am treasuring every second of my time here. A lotta lotta things have happened, and they all happened so suddenly time flew so fast that I didn't realise that I'm almost home for 2++ weeks now.

What I've been up to? Well, the usual; attending trainings, weddings, family gatherings, outings with old friends, meeting and making new friends, chauffeur-ing, nanny-ing, etc etc... my time hasn't been my own since I've been back. And I am predicting after this things are gonna be more hectic and crazier.

On top of that, I am falling sick! The worn out body and humid hot dusty weather combo is disasterous I tell ya. My cough has been getting worse and I've lost my voice courtesy of severe chesty hacking night and day. Plus runny nose plus slight fever. Am currently medicating myself and hoping that it'll all go away soon.... Sigh, what I wouldn't give for a couple of days of rest doing absolutely anything..... :(

There are still a couple of things that I wanted to do that i haven't got around to doing. See lah how it goes, hopefully I'll have time before I leave.

Oh did I mention that my beloved cousin got married? Yeah, the cousin whom I am really close to since we were small is now somebody's wife, finally. i am really really happy for her, seeing her happy makes me happy too. I think the wedding deserves its own post, so I better save all the juicy details for next time ok.

Last week there was also another surprising news from a beloved friend. It was really unexpected, but seeing her happy and glowing makes me happy too. And I am still waiting for some news from a faraway friend, but I sincerely hope that it'll be a good one. All of these ladies are very dear to me, and they deserve the best that life has to offer in terms of love and it's enough that I share their joy and wish them all the happiness in the world.

As for me, even though I've been getting quite a lotta inquiries about my bachelorhood these past few days, it didn't bother me as much as I would have expected. Maybe I'm already immune to it although I've run out of plausible excuses, or maybe I've come to a point in my life where I just done care anymore about whether or not marriage will be in my future. For now I have one thing and one thing only to focus on; finish up my studies, sit for the entrance exam, practice my skills, specialize and stand on my two feet up to a level that I could support my family if it's warranted. Ultimately that's what I want, and that's what i am going to focus on. No point sitting around moping about the state of bachelorhood, it is better to channel all the energy towards something more productive, yes?

Oh, and if before this I get irritated when others try to be matchmakers, nowadays I am merely amused when my mom or aunts or mom's friends try their luck. Sukahati lah belalang, asalkan diorang bahagia... ;p

NB: Tempting nya bila tgk Deghoyan, Sape nak belanja makan sushi ni???

@%$#%?!!

Angry, sad, disappointed, choked up, insanely worried, irritated, disgusted, feels like bashing some peoples' heads against the wall...

With all of these emotions running through yours truly it's no wonder the throat is sore from pent-up and suppressed anger+sadness.

It's nothing unexpected actually. Being betrayed and getting screwed by selfish bastards and assholes should just be another day in my life since I'm surrounded by a bunch of idiots save for a (very) few good souls. But I don't seem to have the ability to not care enough about their selfishness. Seriously, I really don't care what they wanna do with their lives & their money, but when their action affected and caused us by-the-book & studying ones major problems for the exam, that's where I draw the line.

And as for these superficial, shallow, friends-with-benefits type of relationships? I HATE THEM. You're either a friend or you're not. And no true FRIEND would ever just use and come running to you only when they needed something from you. Calling only when no one else could put up with your childish crap? Acknowledging my existence only when you need my notes?? Well, you know what; take your shitty attitude elsewhere and leave me alone. I have no time for selfish bimbos and bastards. But if you still insist on doing what you are doing, then be prepared to face my wrath. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


NB: Fuhhhh!! That was a relief. Retail therapy helped a bit, but venting helped more. It's unlikely that you idiots will read this, but if you do then too bad. For you. Like I care anymore. Hah.

Affair of the Day

Found this out of boredom and I just couldn't resist posting it here...

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One cent?" the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel??" exclaimed the man.

"Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down
here."

:))

In "Crush"ed Mode

Sigh, yeah I guess I am. Again. Crushed by a crush... ^_^

It's been a very long time since I've had any crush-es. This time I was quite the slow to realize it, but it suddenly became apparent to me when I was looking forward to go to class each morning. I am sooo not a morning person, but for the past few weeks morning rounds have never been more interesting, ngeee...

But before you say anything Ms.Snuze, nope, I am definitely NOT in love. Maybe never again. This is just a minor fleeting "crush" of a feeling. Just something to keep me going day to day. My Energizer batteries, so to speak.

Why him? Well, definitely the brains factor. And plus, Nerdy+Gym buff=Agak2 hawt la jugak, HAHA...

But, all good things must come to an end. No more rounds with him anymore, bummer. Although, he did make our last encounter a memorable one for me... *grinning like an idiot*

Sah. I got an itch that can't be scratched. Heheh.

n.b. There are rumors saying that he's batting for the other team. Sigh, just my luck... :(

Furious Fingers

Guess what?

44 words

Typingtest

Yeah I know, I'm a slow typer (got ah such a word??)

Mana nak tengok skrin lagi, keyboard lagi...check spelling lagi..... huhu.....

New resolution: To learn to type as fast as I could!!

Three Graduates & A Bride

Last Sunday was a verrry busy day. There was a graduation ceremony for the girls and a wedding of a friend. I was practically running around for both occasions, but in the end I'm glad that I did it although my feet were killing me by the end of the day.


The Wedding
Remember when I wrote about my friend, Ms.MCL's proposal during class? Well, they finally have all their papers in order and decided to register their marriage here legally. As she is of Romanian-American parentage and he is an Israelian, there were a lot of paperwork to get sorted out. But after all the hassle and running around, finally they were declared husband and wife on May 31, 2009 at the wedding registration place in town.

It was a really sweet occasion. Because it was all kinda last minute, they decided to forgo the pomp and frills and invited only close friends and family to the ceremony. I was deeply touched and honoured that she would include me in it and plus this would certainly be my first.

The ceremony itself was simple, short and sweet; practically hassle free and it took less than 30 minutes. The bride was really beautiful and glowing; she couldn't stop grinning all through it all, and I am really happy for them. As I said it was my first time in a Romanian-style wedding and was delighted to join in with the newlyweds-walking-under-flower-bouquets and rice-throwing thingy because before this we only got to watch how it was done from afar whenever we passed by this place while there was a wedding there.

It was a really really lovely affair, simple and sweet. No hassle no fuss. No frowns, only smiles all around. I wish I could have joined them after that when they went to Ciric to celebrate but I wanted to run back to the graduation ceremony before it's over. And so after giving her the flowers and gift I left the happy couple to join my friends in CUG.


The Graduation Ceremony
Got up early, got ready, and accompanied the soon-to-be grads to the university (5 minutes walk from our place) for a pre-graduation group photo taking session. After that we straightaway went to the Centrul de Providenta in CUG where the ceremony was to take place (which was very very far, according to Iasi's standard lah) and waited for things to get started. As I had a wedding to attend to at noon I had to leave and later on joined them again after the wedding.

It was nice to see all of them happy and excited and seeing some juniors coming to show their support, but I was quite bummed coz didn't get to watch them actually walk onstage, receiving their scrolls and reciting the Hippocratic Oath. Rugi gila lah, tapi takde rezeki nak wat camno... Eventhough people keep saying that our turn will only be next year, it's kinda hard for me to believe it coz it really felt like only yesterday that I had set foot in Iasi. Will I be ready to don the robe and cap and be a good physician in the future? Scary thought. Sigh, time flies so fast eh.....

I gave the girls white roses as a token of our (crazy) friendship which I had pre-ordered a day before and had asked the boys to pick 'em up for me and gave it to them because I wasn't sure if I could make it after the wedding. And after that we were just chilling out at the sistas place. Good times indeed, they were my travel buddies and also my partners in crime; I'll surely miss them when they've gone back home for good. Sigh, there'll be no more Gummu Girls escapades after this.....

Oh, and I am really glad that I came back to the graduation place. Surprise surprise, I got to meet a friend who was with us for the first 3 years but had transferred to Bucharest in our 4th year. He told me before that he had exams the day before and couldn't come, so imagine my surprise when I saw him there. And apparently most of my classmates were there too, but only managed to meet some of them because they left early.

Wonder how our graduation ceremony is gonna be like? Compared to my first convocation several years ago in UM which was a very formal affair (DYTM Raja Dr. Nazrin Shah yg bagi scroll tu tau) the ceremony here is, I would say, semi-formal. Takde org kenamaan, cuma org2 besar & yg penting drpd uni kitorang je. Which is a good thing I think. Less hoopla, but a bit dragging also lah. Tak kisah la belalang, asal jangan tergolek doq masa kat atas stage tu nanti udah ler. Isy, malu giler tak terkata gamaknya.....

So, to the new bride and the new MD graduates:

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Update: Was asked to stand in line for the bouquet-throwing thingy, but the bouquet flew into the hands of Ms.MCL's bestfren. Fuhhh, nasib baik... :))

Miss Austen says...

"If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so obedient; at others, so bewildered and so weak; and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond control! We are, to be sure, a miracle every way; but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out."

-Jane Austen-

Very eloquently said, Jane!

Besday

Happy Birthday to .....

Well, you know who you are.

If you don't, then you should.

If this doesn't make sense, well, everything about you didn't. Hah.

Man, I am so over it.

MEN

Could never understand them.

Have been baffled by them, and would continuously be baffled by them.

Can't live with them, and can't live without them. Errrrrrrr...Yeah. Right.

And they say that women are complex beings.

Pffffftttt.....

Girls Day Out

As today was a beautiful sunny (albeit a little warm) day I went and accompanied my roomie to the nearby mall and market. She bought a pair of sandals, and some stuff for baking. I ended up buying a variety of vegetables from the market coz I was dyiiiiing for some. Now I can have rice and lauk-pauk after almost 2 weeks not eating it, been surviving on bread, eggs and instant noodles je, sigh...

Oh yes, guess what Ms.Snuze, the strawberry season is here again! YAY!!
Both my roomie and I could hardly contain our excitement to see those juicy red heavenly aphrodisiacs that each of us ended up buying 1kg of them succulent berries at RM7 per kg! Murah gila, kan?? For sure mine will be finished by this weekend, muahaha... :D

Later in the afternoon I went out again. After yesterday's mental purging (yeah right) for the Tropical Infectious Diseases exam and the cancellation of Neurosurgery class today (because the prof was in a major surgery rewiring a guy's brain), we (G, Mnl & moi) decided to go to the other mall and celebrate the start of the weekend with a l'il bit of window shopping and makan-makan.

We walked and walked and walked around the mall; me KIV-ing some stuff while they bought some nice tops; sat down at the foodcourt and talked and talked and talked, had a mini self make-up session at the make-up counter and without us realizing it the time was already 10pm!! Gila lama lepak kat sana, kul 4 ptg sampai 10 mlm tu! Isy, isy, isy anak dara 3 ekor ni, apa lah yg korang buat kat sana lama2 ah???

All in all, although it was tiring and my feet is aching, I really had a great time. Being in the company of like-minded people sure makes my day.

Me is content.

The Moroccan Dream

One of my classmates is from Tangier, Morocco, born & bred. She's actually a Berber, and can speak several languages (jeles nya!). Eversince I've known her for 5 years now we have talked about lots of things, especially about our cultures, our homes and our families.

You see, I am an explorer at heart. I love getting to know about all these different cultures and their way of life, especially one that is so foreign from my own. I told her that one of my dreams is to go there for a visit, so that I can see the culture with my very own eyes and experience it, sample their cuisines while breathing the Moroccan air.
Sigh, that would be so lovely, wouldn't it?

Btw, I already have a standing invitation to go there. Tempat tinggal makan minum tak payah nak pikir dah, cuma kena beli sendiri tiket kapalterbang nakgi sana je. Bestnya kalau leh pegi.....


Disclaimer: All the piccas above are not mine. Click at the images to go to the original sites. Thank you.

Ahoy! Crazy Week Ahead!

Day 1:
Paediatrics morning ward rounds, Paediatrics Surgery lecture, Ophthalmology lecture

Day 2:
Paediatrics morning ward rounds & lecture, Ophthalmology lab

Day 3:
Paediatrics morning ward rounds, Neurology lecture & lab

Day 4:
Paediatrics morning ward rounds & lecture, Tropical Medicine EXAM!

Day 5:
Neurosurgery lecture & lab, On-call session


Oh well, looks like there'll be no time for blogging this week I think. But then again, one can never halt the creative process once it has been set into motion, da?
One thing for sure though, I have a biiiig feeling that I'll be a walking zombie by the end of the week because we might also be joining the other groups for their on-call session on day 1 and 3. And there is also a case presentation to prepare, plus have to do some running around to settle some uni related matters.

HELLLLLLLLP!!!

*falls unconscious on the floor like a lump of log due to severe hypoxia from excessive hyperventilation induced by an acute panic attack*

"What do you mean you cannot drink milk??"

"It's because I have Lactose Intolerance (LI), ok? "

I got asked this a lot. And when I told them why, they automatically assume that I don't drink milk. Actually, it doesn't mean that I cannot take milk at all, in fact I love dairies, but consuming milk or any type of dairy products will eventually cause bloating, flatulence, abdominal cramps, and last but not least, acute diarrhea that could lead to dehydration if proper countermeasures are not taken.

Why me??
Well, thanks to the 1/8 chinese, and the remaining jawa part of me = Genetic predisposition, of course. And plus milk-drinking is never really a Malay culture, isn't it?

When will I have the symptoms??
Whenever I have appeased my cravings for something dairy i.e. milk, yoghurt, cheese, ice-cream.....YUMMM!!

How come??
Basically, we lack the enzyme lactase that breaks down lactose, a form of sugar found in milk & other dairy products. Lactose is a big-moleculed sugar and cannot be absorbed by the small intestinal (ileum) walls.
Therefore;
No lactase --> Lactose passes intact from ileum to colon --> Fermentation of lactose by the normal intestinal bacteria --> Production of a lot of gasses --------> Bloating, Flatulence, Cramps + Diarrhea (by lactose that attracts water into colon)

What to do??
Avoid dairy products (unless they are lactose-free), oral rehydration salt, water, water, water, water, water... + Oral enzyme substitution (never tried this before coz can't seem to get my hands on it yet)

Where??
Check out the prevalence of LI in the world population:

If you are still clueless and don't know what I'm talking about, go watch White Chicks the movie. Pay attention to what happens to one of the agents when he ate cheese. Oh yeah, I soooo know the feeling. Been there done that, sigh....

IMHO, being lactose intolerant really suck, big time. Especially for a person who loooooves dairy and can't live without them, like moi. And yeah, different individuals have different levels and degrees of intolerance. But 'lucky' me, I got stuck with the one-glass-of-milk-will-make-you-have-diarrhea-the-whole-night type of LI. And imagine what would happen if I'd have 1 glass milk+1 slice cheese+1 stick ice-cream, in 1 day. Berkampung kat dalam bilik air ler jawabnya...

A lactose intolerant gal who loves lactose-full dairies. What a bummer, ain't it?

You know you're already past your expiry date...

- when all your friends your age that you've recently met up in FB again after many years are married with at least 2 kids in school

- when the first question that they will ask you after 10 years is "Are you married?" instead of "How are you?"

- when you get together with your school friends and all they talk about is babies

- when you found yourself surrounded by guys way younger than you and see you only as an older sister, and most of them are already in a stable relationship

- when your friends try their level best to hook you up with their single guy friends (who are still way younger than you by the way)

- when your family tries to find for you a 'maplei'

- when married ladies start to give you the 'evil eye' even though all you did was having a decent conversation with their husbands (because you're a 'threat' it seems)

- when the once biological clock that had been ticking so loudly has now suddenly fall silent

- when concerned relatives stop asking you the "When is it gonna be your turn, my dear?" question at family gatherings (because they know that you're a hopeless case)

- when your most favourite sentence is either: "If it's meant to be then it's meant to be, if it's not, then what to do...", or, "I gave up already lah. Malas wanna think about it anymore..."


If you answer "Yes" to any of the questions above, then it is my utmost pleasure to inform you that you have definitely gone way past the expiration date and it is only time before you're being removed from the shelf permanently. Better be ready for the inevitable, folks.


**Pardon my cuckoo-ness. I think I'm just worn out. Better go lie down now. Tootles**

Unproductive

Woke up early, got ready, took the tram and arrived on time for morning class. Waited and waited for the others to come, but they were late. Therefore, teacher said, "Sorry but you guys were very late, and so I put you absent except for the two of you who came earlier. See you next week then ok..."

Since it was too frickin' early too go home and do nothing while waiting for the next afternoon class, decided to join the others and went to the mall (which is just 10 minutes away on foot) from the Paediatrics Hospital. Had brunch, walked around a bit until 1pm and then went straight to the Infectious Disease hospital for class.

Came in, she talked about Leprosy and TB for like 1 hour, and then class was over. Hisy, itu aje? Nothing else?? Sabar je lah...

Went back home, and took a nap coz got a major headache. And woke up with a massive headache instead. Hmmmmm...I think it's time for the migraine meds.....

Sigh, what an unproductive day.....

NB: Tomorrow we might have neurosurgery. Maybe yes maybe no, nobody is sure. But I'm still gonna go nonetheless, just in case you know. And I'll also be doing garda with our paeds surgery lecturer tomorrow. Went last time with him and it was fun (had the chance to enter the OT and watched 3 surgeries, cool eh). And so that's how I will spend my friday night, sometimes the weekends too. Sigh, no wonder I have no social life here...

(garda = on-call)

Just Another Rambling

I am a fairly patient person. But when my own integrity is being questioned, hell yeah I won't tolerate that. I have a quick temper yes, but over the years I've learned to tone it down and try to think first before reacting with either words or actions. Because, if and when I do lose my temper and let my tongue loose, the person at the receiving end would probably have singed ears and wishes that he/she is deaf instead. Therefore, my silence reflects the level of my wrath. You have been warned...

They say I'm a loner. Well, maybe I am in a way. I don't do well in large groups, I've lots of acquaintances but only a handful of friends that I trust and am comfortable with. No point 'collecting' friends just to be popular but ended up not trusting any of them. And I love the few close friends that I have, they gave me comfort and kept me sane all through these years. Better than any depression meds any day. Quality is definitely better than quantity, no?

Some say I'm weird in the sense that I enjoy my own company. Well, I truly do. Going out and hanging out in some noisy pub/eatery is nothing compared to a good book/movie with some soothing music on and chilling at home. Maybe it's the age thing. You see, I have gone through the phase of hanging out with a bunch of friends all day everyday when I was younger. Now as I get older, solace is what I crave. Silence IS golden. And no more wild parties, please. Once in a while I don't mind it, but not all the time. Old already, no more energy, huh...

They say that I am open minded. Yes I am. I don't bother other people and their choices, so why should they be bothered with mine? I don't like to preach and force my opinions on others because I don't like people to do that to me. Unless you're related to me and your actions will eventually affect me, please keep your nosy noses out of my life. But, my open-mindedness does have its limits of course. If you want to drink, smoke, copulate, do as you wish with your body, it's your choice, but don't expect me to follow suit. Yes, I do have an open mind, but that doesn't mean that I would open my legs for anyone too. HELL NO. I am not all that pious, but religion is important to me and I believe that there is only one powerful, knowing and forgiving GOD. The hijab kept me from doing things that I shouldn't be doing, and I'm thankful for that. Hence, I don't do things that I don't feel comfortable doing, and no one can force me to do anything that I don't want to. I am myself, rigid principles all. Deal with it.

Phew! Glad I got that out of my chest. Like I said, it's just another rambling... ^_^

BURN

Do you wanna be a poet and write
Do you wanna be an actor up in lights
Do you wanna be a soldier and fight for love
Do you wanna travel the world
Do you wanna be a diver for pearls
Or climb a mountain and touch the clouds above
Be anyone you want to be
Bring to life your fantasies
But I want something in return
I want you to burn burn for me baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh burn
Burn for me
Burn for me
Are you gonna be a gambler and deal
Are you gonna be a doctor and heal
Or go to heaven and touch God's face
Are you gonna be a dreamer who sleeps
Are you gonna be a sinner who weeps
Or an angel
Under grace
Ill lay down on your bed of coals
Offer up my heart and soul
But in return
I want you to burn
Burn for me baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh burn burn for me burn for me
Yeah
Ooh
I want you to burn baby ooh
Laugh for me
Cry for me
Pray for me
Lie for me
Live for me
Die for me
I want you to burn
Burn for me baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh burn burn for me burn for me
Yeah
Ah yeah
I want you to burn
I want you to burn for me baby
Ohh yeah

On Bended Knees

Today was a day of proposals. Why?

1. In real-time:
My dear friend and classmate, Ms.MCL is now engaged! And it all happened in Ophthalmology lab just now. Her bf (now fiance) actually got down on one knee, told her that she was the only woman that he wants to spend his life with, and asked her if she would do him the honour of being his wife! It was a lovely and sweet surprise; I knew I was gaping throughout and our lecturer (and some of the strapping macho guys in the class, heheh) were moved to tears. It was kinda like one of those Hallmark moments, because the love that they had for each other really shone so bright that it was almost blinding. But the best part of it is that I've actually had the chance of watching something like that with my very own eyes and not only on TV. How cool is that! I am really happy for her, and wish nothing but the best for both of them.

Congrats my dear MCL! May your lives together will be full of love, joy & laughter forever and ever...


2. On reel-time
This was about something on the House tv show. Yeah, I'm fan, and have been faithfully following each and every episode without fail. I really love the show, but needless to say after the shocking (to me at least) twist in the previous episode (S5 Ep20) regarding the untimely and rather gruesome and tragic passing of one of my favourite characters, Kutner (he was supposedly to have shot himself due to unexplained reasons), I did not expect that the writers would come up with another surprise in the show in S5 Ep.21 when Chase got down on his knees and proposed to Allison! And this I watched on the telly just a few hours after the real-time proposal in class! Seems like spring and wedding bells are in the air.....


So, the conclusion is:
"Love is in the air, everywhere we look around...."


p/s: Am trying to compile plausible answers for one of the most dreaded questions that will defintely be thrown at me during my cousin's wedding party this summer. Ideas anyone??

Life, or I Think Something Like It

Things are good here, alhamdulillah. Of course, there are still a couple of unresolved issues with some thick-headed individuals that claim to be my friends but clearly don't know how to be one. But other than that, I have to say that things are really good.

Really really glad to be in my group this year. Actually, the school secretary messed up our names and so we ended up being in different groups compared from last years. But I have no complains, because so far I am satisfied with the lot that are in my group. And the fact that our group was assigned to the pediatrics cardiology clinic whereas the others were assigned to the pediatrics nephrology clinic has made some of the other peeps envy us just because we learn more in the department compared to them. Well, boohoo. We're all grown-ups, and we make our own choices and pave our own destiny. Eventhough we had rounds everyday, we still go for on-calls with the residents and attendings there because we wanted to learn more. So don't go blaming other people not teaching you enough when all you wanna do is rest on your laurels and whine. Be proactive, for goodness' sake. Ceh....

I am now the official counselor for Teddy, heheh... (Hey, dia yg nak mengadu dumba, I dengar je lah. I good friend what)... Started eversince he hooked up with his (ex)-gf and now till they broke up. I myself didn't realize it (if not for my roomie pointing it out) but almost every Friday we'll have our sessions via my Samsung. Life's a bitch, but I gotta say some gals are bitchier. Well, there's nothing else to do but to write it off as one of life's sweet yet painful experiences, right? And love makes you do many stupid things no matter how sane you think you are. How do I know this? Mind you I don't think I've ever really been in love, but close to it, yeah. And even being close to falling in love could make you go crazy, imagine if it's the real thing. Urghhhh, scary siot....

Patch and Kruger have been real sweet these days. Apahal ntah mamat dua ekor tuh semenjak dua menjak ni. Si Mummy pulak makin pelik. Hmmphhhh, sukati lah belalang.....

Brains vs. Brawns

For me personally there's no doubt about it; brains win hands down. A stimulating conversation is more of a turn-on than muscle flexing. There is nothing more sexier than a guy who has it all up there and kept it all together. Yummmm....

The ultimate drool factor in this category would be 'Cyrus the Virus' character in Con Air played by John Malkovich. Yeah I know he's just a fictional character, but so far most non-fictional flesh and blood mortals fall real short and ain't nowhere near the likes of him. Sigh, this is what happens when you've set your standards that high.....

And on another note, I have never been a fan of Rufus Sewell, but after watching him as Dr. Jacob Hood in the Eleventh Hour.....oh my oh my oh my oh my..... *pengsan*

Foreign vs. Local

If this is really gonna be implemented soon, then is it really worth it for me to go back and serve my country when they don't really need local docs anymore?

Maybe I should explore other options.

Maybe change is good.

Maybe it's a sign.

Just wondering, that's all......

Flu-ish Weather

Demam
Selsema
Sakit kepala
Sakit badan

The weather is driving me up the wall! Surrounded by sneezy+coughy+feverish people ain't helping either. Barely recovering from last week's bout of stomach flu, now this. Sigh.....

It snowed yesterday. Came with winds and thunder all. Just when you thought that spring is finally here, then suddenly snowflakes started falling down from the sky. Was practically covered all white on my way back from class. It was cold, but thank God the temp was above 0 degrees, else I think my body temp will sharply incline making me tres tres sick again. But thankfully all the medication and fluids worked, and only remnants of a mild stuffed/runny nose is present.

Sudah-sudah lah tu, penat la sakit lama-lama nih. Really I tell you, gone lah my liver like this kalau asyik dok sakit and telan PCM sokmo. Isy.....

Salam Takziah

Just got the news from my mom about the passing of my SIL's father in Kedah.

Semoga roh-nya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yag beriman. Amin...

AL-FATIHAH

n/b: Life is short. Treasure every moment. Every second counts. Don't waste time on thinking about what might have been, but think about what it will be instead...

Stomach Flu et moi

Gastroenteritis, or commonly (and mistakenly) known as the stomach flu, is an inflammation of the lining of the stomach and small and large intestines. Most of the cases are infectious, although gastroenteritis may also follow ingestion of drugs and chemical toxins (eg, metals, plant substances).

Infectious gastroenteritis is commonly caused by viruses (Rotavirus, Norovirus, Astrovirus, Adenovirus, CMV), and less commonly by bacterias (Campylobacter, Salmonella, Shigella, E.coli O157:H7) and parasites (Giardia, Cryptosporidium).

Generally, there is a sudden onset of symptoms, with anorexia, nausea, vomiting, borborygmi, abdominal cramps, watery diarrhea (with or without blood and mucus), malaise, myalgias, and prostration. The abdomen may be distended and mildly tender; in severe cases, muscle guarding may be present. Gas-distended intestinal loops may be palpable. Borborygmi are present even without diarrhea. Persistent vomiting and diarrhea can result in intravascular fluid depletion with hypotension and tachycardia. In severe cases, shock, with vascular collapse and oliguric renal failure, occurs.

Treatment is symptomatic, although parasitic and some bacterial infections require specific anti-infective therapy. Gastroenteritis is usually uncomfortable but self-limited. Electrolyte and fluid loss is usually little more than an inconvenience to an otherwise healthy adult but can be grave for people who are very young elderly, or debilitated or who have serious concomitant illnesses.

(Source: The Merck Manual of Medical Information)

This was what I had last weekend. A rather bad case of gastroenteritis. First it was diarrhea. I thought it was just a plain case of lactose intolerance (had a glass of milk Friday afternoon) which usually would pass after a few hours, or at least food poisoning. But then the symptoms got worse; non-stop diarrhea, nausea, abdominal cramps, a pulsating frontal headache, back pain and muscle cramps. And come Saturday afternoon my temperature spiked! I was dehydrated from the diarrhea and had chills all over that I couldn't eat anything. All I could manage was sipping plain lukewarm water now and then, swallowing a couple of tabs of PCM, gulping down home-made ORS (oral rehydration salt) mix, wrapping up myself under the blankets, and slept and slept and slept...

Alhamdulillah, the next morning the fever, headache, cramps, nausea were all gone. Still had some mild diarrhea though. All I could manage was some dry toast and soup. By nightfall I was almost normal, albeit a little bit weak. I was lucky that my recovery was speedy, I guess that my decision to rehydrate and control the fever worked in my favour. That and also the fact that although the urge to vomit was there I tried not to because I knew that if I do I'm gonna be more dehydrated. It may be bad to suppress the urge, but I do know my body well and how it reacts.

Until now I have been trying to figure out what had caused it. The only conclusion that I can come up with is that I may have had a viral gastroenteritis contracted from the hospital or from my colleagues. Why? Because apparently some of my classmates also fell ill with almost the exact same symptoms that I had on the very same day. It definitely wasn't food poisoning because we didn't eat the same food. Coincidence? I think not. Although, according to one of the doctors it could also be the fact that there was an epidemic of stomach flu at the time. And I think he could be right, because of this. Whatever it was, it affected my friends worse than me. Poor things. But as Ms MCL said there is an upside to it; she lost 5 pounds in less than a week! Good for her, but caution to all of you especially the bulimics: vomiting is NEVER the solution to weight loss, comprende?

It's been a long while since I was this sick. Thank goodness I kept some PCMs, aspirins, charcoal tablets, and paid attention during physiology class long time ago. Time and again the home-made ORS mix proved to be useful when no pre-packed ORS are available on-hand. Thanks Prof. Ruby, you're a life saver!

n.b. I'm laying off rice for now. My stomach can't seem to stand it anymore, too starchy I guess. Might go vegetarian for a while. Wonder how long till I'll start craving for some meat...

Busy Bee

I'm wiped out. Tired of running around town for our classes in different hospitals scattered all over the place. Thank goodness the public transport here is quite efficient, although one do have to put up with bau-bauan yang kurang menyenangkan daripada orang-orang yang tak reti nak mandi, ada yang sanggup tak mandi berbulan-bulan sebab nak jimat air. Sheeeeshhhh....

We're having a case presentation tomorrow. It's about a patient in our pediatrics clinic with Tetralogy of Fallot. Interesting case, nice and very accomodating baby. My group has the honour of presenting first, so I would really hope that we'll do good. Will give an update later on how it goes.

Now need to get some zzzzzzzs before revising for tomorrow's presentation, got a killer headache residual from a very bad case of Gastroenteritis (stomach flu) over the weekend. If got time I'll blog about that too.

Oh, did I mention that I HATE public speaking?? Urghhhhhhh...

I Me Wed

I recently came across this movie while searching for something else on youtube. Ran out of things to do so I decided to watch this. Well, what can I say? As soon as I'm done watching all I wanted to do is run off and marry myself! Now that would be a sight, wouldn't it...

This is the story of Isabel Darden, attractive and successful but is 30 years old and still single. The thing is, she's having a blast and doesn't mind being single at all, but her family and friends (both married and single) kept at nagging her and trying to fix her up with guys that are not her type. They meant well I suppose, because they didn't want to see her ending up as a dried-up old spinster (at age 30?? come on!) and want to see her happily married, making babies and living in a house with a white picket fence. But as sweet-natured and patient as she is, alas she got fed-up with their incessant meddling and refusal to believe that she is indeed happy being single and wouldn't want to settle down just because everyone else is that she decided to have a ceremony to marry herself! Intriguing idea indeed...

So, against her family's and friends' wishes she went ahead with her plans. But things got rather complicated: when her ceremony garnered a lot of attention from the media and the public that said what she's doing is a symbol of women empowerment, and offered to sponsor her "wedding" and a gorgeous wedding dress; and it didn't help her either when she finally met a wonderful guy that could possibly be the one. But by then it was too late to do anything but to go ahead with her plans. So, should she just go ahead with it and not tell her guy (which seems to be oblivious of it all) until after the wedding and risking losing him later, or should she tell him about it anyhow and risk losing him now? Hmmmm, a tough choice to make...

But anyways, she did went ahead with her 'self-affirmation' event. Her aim of doing this is not because that she will never ever get married, but it is to make a vow that she will do what she feels right when the time is right with the right person, and not sacrifice the part of her that makes her HER. What touched me the most was the vows that she made to herself:

I, Isabel Darden, love myself.
I honour myself, and I cherish myself.
And most importantly, I promise to really be true to myself, from this moment forward, no matter what...

I wish I'd have the courage to do this. But then again, you don't need a fancy schmancy wedding party to make that vow. You can do it without all the trappings and have that self-affirmation wherever and whenever you want.

But you know what, if by 40 I'm still single, I may have to have one of these myself just to shut people up.
So, anyone wanna be my bridesmaid?

Under The Bridge

The rules:
1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. NO CHEATING!
5. Tag others


IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Sweet love (Anita Baker)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Like a stone (Audioslave) ..... hehehehehe, right on the money!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Dreaming of you (Selena) ..... nope, no more...

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
My happy ending (Avril Lavigne) ..... well, gotta believe that there's something at the end of the rainbow, right?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Sometime's love ain't enough (Patty Smythe & Don Henley) ..... how true...

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I'm a bitch! (Meredith Brooks) ..... whoa, really guys?? heheh...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Only hope (Mandy Moore) ..... yup, that's all that I can do right now, sigh...

WHAT IS 2+2?
No air (Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Big girls don't cry (Fergie) ..... well, not all the time but once in a while apa salahnya kan...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
From this moment (Shania Twain)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Untukmu '94 (KRU) ..... hmmm, memang pun...

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Fire (Babyface & Des'ree) ..... on fire?? a fireman?? selalu kena fire tu ada la...

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
I love rock n roll (Britney Spears) ..... woohoooo! rock on baby! ni baru betul going with a bang, huhu...

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Menghitung hari (Kris Dayanti) ..... mak aih, jiwangnya...

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I'll be (Edwin McCain) ..... whatever that you want me to be... *smirks*

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Give it away (Red Hot Chili Peppers) ..... hah? menyimpan ada ler..

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Life (Des'ree) ..... how appropriate...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Hilang (Diddy) ..... ada orang tu sembunyi dalam gua lagi ke? *wink wink*

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Dreams (The Cranberries) ..... when it gets crushed before it could ever happen...

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Ode to my family (The Cranberries) ..... no comment ^_^

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Crazy (Aerosmith) ..... craziness freaks me out actually...

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
That don't impress me much (Shania Twain)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Destiny (Misha Omar) ..... my life is in GOD's hands...

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Khayalan (VE ft. Ruffedge) ..... ROFL!!! surely it's a sign...

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Always (Atlantic Starr) ..... i think of them often too...

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Buttons (Pussycat Dolls)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Promise me (Beverley Craven) ..... don't make promises that you can't keep, okay?

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Back at one (Brian McKnight) ..... from when I was born...

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, WHEN YOU MEET YOUR BOSS?
Big yellow taxi (Counting Crows ft. Vanessa Carlton) ..... take a ride!

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Under the bridge (Red Hot Chili Peppers)


I'm tagging sue, aa, and everyone else who are reading this. You're tagged!

Miss Austen says...

"Where any one body of educated men, of whatever denomination, are condemned indiscriminately, there must be a deficiency of information, or...of something else."

Right on, Jane!!

Drama Queens

Please, keep them away from me before any bodily/verbal assault is leashed.

There are much more important things to think about besides making a HUGE fuss on those very very tiny itsy-bitsy little things. Unless if it's a life and death matter, or right and wrong, anything else is solvable granted that you have the patience to search for the solutions.

No one else can cure someones childishness or their obsession with looks, weight and popularity but themselves. It may not make them a bad person, no, but when their behaviour is affecting the people around them in a negative way then that won't make them a good person either, doesn't it?

No drama please. I'm exhausted. Life is hard enough...*sigh*

Gerammm

Tak paham betol la korang ni. Suka bebenor kacau orang lain sehari dua sebelum periksa. Masa ni baru lah kelam-kabut carik nota lah, jawapan lah, isi penting yg cikgu cakap kat dalam kelas lah...hisy....

Yang sibuk-sibuk sangat ni apa hal?? Apa yg aku ada korang ada jugak kan, buku sama cikgu sama kelas sama. Kalau korang tak tulis apa-apa masa kat dalam kelas tu masalah korang lah, ada aku kisah?? Nama je datang semua kelas on time, dok kat depan lagi tuh tapi satu haprak pun korang tak tulis/paham apa ke halnya. Aku yg dok kat belakang2 ni pun sempat menulis, korang dok kat depan2 tu telek muka cikgu sambil kira taik lalat kat muka depa kot. Kalau benda-benda ni korang tanya sebelum nak periksa boleh je aku layan, tapi ni masa aku nak ulangkaji korang makin serabutkan kepala hotak ni.

BODOH.

Hah, kan dah kena.

Sabor je lah.....

Miss Austen says...

"I pay very little regard...to what any young person says on the subject of marriage.
If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person."

Politics Schmolitics

What in the world is happening back home?

Is everyone going nuts?!!

This is why I don't do politics.

Come on people, you can do better than this.

Peace y'all...

Filtering my system away

Just got the results for Nephrology exam, and I am sooo glad that I passed. Having our seniors telling us that this is one of the hardest paper to pass, you can understand why my nerves were rattled with anxiety, sleepless nights and also bouts of diarrhea prior to the big day!

But then, it wasn't so bad after all. The exam I mean. If you go to all the classes and rounds and studied throughout the session passing won't be a problem. Heck, scoring an A won't be a problem either (and I am a proof of that miracle!)... Anyways, I'm just really relieved that it's over and now could start focusing for other subjects. Adoooiiiii.....

Going through the nephrology cycle wasn't easy for me personally. I have had to battle my own demons and sad memories whenever I set foot in the wards/dialysis units. Being there brought back memories of how it was for me when my late father had to be admitted for renal failure and I was practically living in the hospital too at the time. He was on hemodialysis but due to a lot of complications (post-dialysis hypotension was the major problem), he chose to continue his renal replacement therapy with a CAPD (continous ambulatory peritoneal dialysis). And although the CAPD was working, his heart gave out in the end.

Looking back I wonder how I did it and where did I had the strength to go through all that because now I can't imagine going through all that again. Maybe it's the power of love that was keeping me afloat and sane those days; when it's for someone that you love nothing is impossible. The only thing that I regretted until this day is if only I have had the courage to give him one of my kidneys maybe he would have a better chance of survival. Until now the what ifs plagues my mind, and how I wish I could have done it differently.

If only...