omg omg omg omg....
There are no proper words I could use to describe this movie, except that personally I think it is just AWE-INSPIRING, EXCEPTIONAL, MOVING, and truly truly truly EXCELLENT...
There are a lot of elements in this movie that truly touched me; the idea of music is everywhere and around us if only one would just listen, of love at first sight and still holding to that feeling even after years had gone by, and of the fact that there's no greater feeling then being able to feel belonged to someone, in this case even more so for this boy whom have been feeling lost and alone all of his life while waiting and believing that one day he will be reunited with his parents if they can only hear his music.
Go watch it and judge for yourself. Maybe to some people there are parts in this movie that feels too mystical for their taste, but watch it with an open mind and open heart, and you'll be surprised yourself of the emotions that would wash over you in the end...
Here is the part that I loved the most in this movie. Had tears in my eyes all through this part, it was just so wonderful and moving. Oh, just go and watch it, will ya!
March 31, 2008
March 30, 2008
PCD Rocks!!
Saw this back then in 2005, I think, when PCD made their live onstage performance on Fashion Rocks. They were an unknown group back then, but as soon as I saw this I could feel it in my bones that they would make it big. And look at them now....
Oh gosh, they just blew me away with this performance and I never grew tired of watching it...
Oh gosh, they just blew me away with this performance and I never grew tired of watching it...
Surgery vs Emergency
Went for an oncall today with our resident surgeon here. As today is a weekend, there weren't too many cases that came in as opposed to in the weekdays. Actually this was my third oncall, the first two were done with our previous lecturers last semester. We decided to leave after the last patient from the emergency that came in for trauma was brought to the hospital and admitted, and we decided to come back again next day to check on him as was advised by our assistant. And so I went back and went ahead to start preparing and making my baked pasta for our friends' birthday party tonight. I promise I will give an update later about how it went okie... Actually, I am not really sure in which department I am going to do my presentation for the licensing exam at the end of medical school later. Though I still have a couple more years to go, we were asked to choose a department/topic now so that we can start as early as possible and not do things at the last minute. So, my dilemma now is whether to do it under the surgery department OR in the emergency department. Honestly, in my opinion surgery is very interesting, but so is emergency too. They even have professionals whom specializes in the emergency department here. Prior to this I thought of doing it in the genetics department (which was my major in college), but the emergency field seems, for now, to be very very interesting and something that I can imagine myself specializing one day. Hmmmmm...I wish they have an infectious/tropical disease department here though, so that I can compare and identify which field could be my forte one day. Huh.. decisions, decisions.....
Another weekend passing by so bloody fast. Can't anyone invent a time stopper/decelarator device? Urgently needing them before June comes visiting!
n.b. Need to get surgical scrubs to be able to enter the OT. Which colour would be suitable huh? Isk isk, more decisions *shakes head*...
March 26, 2008
Another Day In Paradise...Not!
Wow, Surgery class was good. Had the chance to watch a laparoscopic cholecystectomy procedure carried out by our prof. Initial investigations showed only cholelithiasis, but during surgery they found out that the patient's gallbladder is filled with pus - empyema. Other than that he also had adhesions from previous abdominal surgery. Oh, and I think somebody is pissed with us because the prof seems to be paying more attention to us than their own kind. Hah, tough luck. Normally we will be sidelined but at least this time we rule! *laughs evilly*
Hmmmm....Was feeling a wee bit carniverous today, so it didn't take a lot of persuasion by Pinkie to have brunch at one of the halal joints near the uni during the break. Heavenly meat, alas. FYI this was my first proper meal in, oh, 4 days I think. Been surviving on fruits, chocolate bars, cereals and yoghurt these past few days. Too lazy and got no time to cook. Bad Melle, very bad...
Was and still am feeling baffled when friends and classmates started to come up to me and telling me that I've lost weight. I mean, come on, it can't be that I've lost that much kilos in one weekend, can it? Hmmmm....maybe it's due to the fact that there had been a fair amount of walking done in these past 2 months. Since it's a nice walk from home to the not-so-near hospitals and when the weather is superb, I much prefer to walk rather than taking the bus/tram. I guess those 20-30 minutes walk uphill/downhill really did me good, didn't it? But the funny thing was, I wasn't even trying to lose weight though I've wanted to but could not really do it in the past. Someone even made a remark saying that they noticed that I eat more when I'm depressed and less when I'm happy. Well, I guess it's true. And go figure, I am content nowadays. Content with my life, content with the fact that I am living the life that I've chosen for myself and doing the things that I wanted to. My life is my own to dictate, and I couldn't care less what others whom are so wholly unrelated to me want to say. The only thing that matters is that I value what the people that I love thinks, and that's what most important for me. Other than that, they can all go fly kites as far as I'm concerned... Hah!
Teddy didn't come to Urology class today. Hope he's ok. Am still in bemusement whenever I'm recalling yesterday's conversation with him. I was so touched when he asked me if things are ok and told me that he will do whatever he can do to help if only I asked for it. Said that he knew something was wrong at the beginning of the semester itself, but he didn't want to intrude. Awwww...so sweet... But, sorry Teddy, it was too personal to share it with you. Maybe one day, or, maybe never :)
Patch and Kruger made a remark in class that made me laugh. They told the prof that their friend, Bahlul, was absent. It was in jest of course, and the guy in question wasn't around. But the thing that was funny was that they thought no one else except for their own kind would understand the word. That's why when I first heard it I thought I had heard it wrongly, but when they kept repeating it I couldn't help myself and just burst out laughing! You should see the expressions on their faces when they realised I understood it. Haven't I told them like a million times that our language had incorporated their mother-tongue long long time ago? Talk about clueless, tsk tsk... Alamak, takleh nak ngumpat depan-depan diorang lah pulak lepas ni. Aiseymen... :(
Oh, and another thing, Pinkie and Brownie are considering to have a new hairdo and asked for my opinion. I told them to go for it if they really want to, but just make sure that they go to the right stylist to get the look that they want. Else it'll be a disaster. Mmmmm...well who knows, I might be considering cutting my hair too! But of course, it'll be done by none other than yours truly, as usual. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.
Hmmmm....Was feeling a wee bit carniverous today, so it didn't take a lot of persuasion by Pinkie to have brunch at one of the halal joints near the uni during the break. Heavenly meat, alas. FYI this was my first proper meal in, oh, 4 days I think. Been surviving on fruits, chocolate bars, cereals and yoghurt these past few days. Too lazy and got no time to cook. Bad Melle, very bad...
Was and still am feeling baffled when friends and classmates started to come up to me and telling me that I've lost weight. I mean, come on, it can't be that I've lost that much kilos in one weekend, can it? Hmmmm....maybe it's due to the fact that there had been a fair amount of walking done in these past 2 months. Since it's a nice walk from home to the not-so-near hospitals and when the weather is superb, I much prefer to walk rather than taking the bus/tram. I guess those 20-30 minutes walk uphill/downhill really did me good, didn't it? But the funny thing was, I wasn't even trying to lose weight though I've wanted to but could not really do it in the past. Someone even made a remark saying that they noticed that I eat more when I'm depressed and less when I'm happy. Well, I guess it's true. And go figure, I am content nowadays. Content with my life, content with the fact that I am living the life that I've chosen for myself and doing the things that I wanted to. My life is my own to dictate, and I couldn't care less what others whom are so wholly unrelated to me want to say. The only thing that matters is that I value what the people that I love thinks, and that's what most important for me. Other than that, they can all go fly kites as far as I'm concerned... Hah!
Teddy didn't come to Urology class today. Hope he's ok. Am still in bemusement whenever I'm recalling yesterday's conversation with him. I was so touched when he asked me if things are ok and told me that he will do whatever he can do to help if only I asked for it. Said that he knew something was wrong at the beginning of the semester itself, but he didn't want to intrude. Awwww...so sweet... But, sorry Teddy, it was too personal to share it with you. Maybe one day, or, maybe never :)
Patch and Kruger made a remark in class that made me laugh. They told the prof that their friend, Bahlul, was absent. It was in jest of course, and the guy in question wasn't around. But the thing that was funny was that they thought no one else except for their own kind would understand the word. That's why when I first heard it I thought I had heard it wrongly, but when they kept repeating it I couldn't help myself and just burst out laughing! You should see the expressions on their faces when they realised I understood it. Haven't I told them like a million times that our language had incorporated their mother-tongue long long time ago? Talk about clueless, tsk tsk... Alamak, takleh nak ngumpat depan-depan diorang lah pulak lepas ni. Aiseymen... :(
Oh, and another thing, Pinkie and Brownie are considering to have a new hairdo and asked for my opinion. I told them to go for it if they really want to, but just make sure that they go to the right stylist to get the look that they want. Else it'll be a disaster. Mmmmm...well who knows, I might be considering cutting my hair too! But of course, it'll be done by none other than yours truly, as usual. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.
March 24, 2008
Current Cravings... (Part 1)
Being away from the motherland this long, sooner or later one will definitely develop cravings for the local made-in-Malaysia dishes. And here are my top 5 (for now at least *wink wink*) :-
1. Nasi Ayam (Chicken Rice) - Especially the one that my grandma used to make.... yummmmmm...... I could probably make this here but due to the fact that the sweet soya sauce (kicap cap kipas) which is used to marinate the chicken is not available here and my stock is very precious and limited, I'm kind of hesitant to use it all up in one go. Kedekutnya, hehehe...
2. Soto Ayam (Chicken soup with pressed steamed rice) - Hearty chicken broth with spices served with pressed compact rice, potato meatballs and condiments in the cold rainy weather...what's not good about that?
3. Laksa Assam/Penang - The sourness, the spicyness, the tangyness, and the fishiness... and have it with a serving of shrimp paste....oh my....
4. Halal KFC - Hot & Spicy, the way I like it! Sehingga menjilat jari... :P
5. Air Kelapa Muda (Fresh Coconut Juice) - Darn refreshing this one is...my all-time favourite refreshment.
to be continued.... :))
n.b. Am definitely going to Carrefour tomorrow to grab some fresh halal chicken, be it rain or shine..... Really feeling "cuckoo" nowadays, better not start clucking or else my roomie is gonna go call the psych dept. ;D
-pics were taken from various sources from the world wide web-
1. Nasi Ayam (Chicken Rice) - Especially the one that my grandma used to make.... yummmmmm...... I could probably make this here but due to the fact that the sweet soya sauce (kicap cap kipas) which is used to marinate the chicken is not available here and my stock is very precious and limited, I'm kind of hesitant to use it all up in one go. Kedekutnya, hehehe...2. Soto Ayam (Chicken soup with pressed steamed rice) - Hearty chicken broth with spices served with pressed compact rice, potato meatballs and condiments in the cold rainy weather...what's not good about that?3. Laksa Assam/Penang - The sourness, the spicyness, the tangyness, and the fishiness... and have it with a serving of shrimp paste....oh my....4. Halal KFC - Hot & Spicy, the way I like it! Sehingga menjilat jari... :P
5. Air Kelapa Muda (Fresh Coconut Juice) - Darn refreshing this one is...my all-time favourite refreshment.
to be continued.... :))
n.b. Am definitely going to Carrefour tomorrow to grab some fresh halal chicken, be it rain or shine..... Really feeling "cuckoo" nowadays, better not start clucking or else my roomie is gonna go call the psych dept. ;D
-pics were taken from various sources from the world wide web-
A State Of Mind
Temporary Insanity:
n. in a criminal prosecution, a defense by the accused that he/she was briefly insane at the time the crime was committed and therefore was incapable of knowing the nature of his/her alleged criminal act. Temporary insanity is claimed as a defense whether or not the accused is mentally stable at the time of trial. One difficulty with a temporary insanity defense is the problem of proof, since any examination by psychiatrists had to be after the fact, so the only evidence must be the conduct of the accused immediately before or after the crime. It is similar to the defenses of "diminished capacity" to understand one's own actions, the so-called "Twinkie defense," the "abuse excuse," "heat of passion" and other claims of mental disturbance which raise the issue of criminal intent based on modern psychiatry and/or sociology. However, mental derangement at the time of an abrupt crime, such as a sudden attack or crime of passion, can be a valid defense or at least show lack of premeditation to reduce the degree of the crime.
taken from Law.com dictionary
Yup, I plead the fifth. I was, unbeknownst to me at the time, acting irrationally, hastily, and so out of my character that others around me seemed to notice it too. I don't know what had happened; maybe I was simply lonely, or maybe, I was abducted by aliens and was brainwashed by them to accept the very thing that I have opposed and tried to avoid all this time. Call it whatever you want; temporary insanity, partial lapsed of judgement, or even plain craziness; one fact still remain though, by doing what I thought was abtaining and securing my happiness, I have inadvertantly hurt some people with my actions and choices.
And so, here it is:
I AM SORRY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, TO WHOMEVER THAT HAD BEEN HURT FOR WHAT I DID AT THE TIME. I HAVE NO EXCUSES FOR WHAT I'VE DONE, EXCEPT TO SAY THAT IT WAS REALLY REALLY STUPID, AND I HONESTLY HAVE NEVER EVER INTENDED TO HURT ANYONE. I WAS BLIND, I WAS WRONG, AND THANK GOD I REALISED MY MISTAKES AND STOPPED THINGS BEFORE IT GOT ANY FURTHER.
I VOW AND PROMISE, THAT I WILL NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN, NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS, NOT WHEN I CAN'T BE HONEST WITH THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE. NO MORE. NEVER AGAIN. I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON, AND I'M STRONGER BECAUSE OF IT.
And now, it's already out in the open. In my defense, all contacts with D have been severed since earlier this year itself, and have stopped communications to avoid unnecessary complications since then. And the reason why suddenly this thing resurfaced? I have a niggling feeling that some people just doesn't understand the word "No" and "That's it". Hmmm....maybe I should have said it in several different languages so that I could get my point across...
Berapa kali dah nak cakap, orang dah kata tak nak tu tak nak lah! Apa tak paham-paham bahasa jugak ke?! Dah lah tu, leave me alone and let me be. Let me find my happiness my own way without having to sacrifice my own principles and myself. And if you (sesapa yg terasa la) ever think of nak cari pasal with me or my family, think again. You don't wanna mess with me, trust me. So for your sake, better kau blah.....
THE END.
n. in a criminal prosecution, a defense by the accused that he/she was briefly insane at the time the crime was committed and therefore was incapable of knowing the nature of his/her alleged criminal act. Temporary insanity is claimed as a defense whether or not the accused is mentally stable at the time of trial. One difficulty with a temporary insanity defense is the problem of proof, since any examination by psychiatrists had to be after the fact, so the only evidence must be the conduct of the accused immediately before or after the crime. It is similar to the defenses of "diminished capacity" to understand one's own actions, the so-called "Twinkie defense," the "abuse excuse," "heat of passion" and other claims of mental disturbance which raise the issue of criminal intent based on modern psychiatry and/or sociology. However, mental derangement at the time of an abrupt crime, such as a sudden attack or crime of passion, can be a valid defense or at least show lack of premeditation to reduce the degree of the crime.
taken from Law.com dictionary
Yup, I plead the fifth. I was, unbeknownst to me at the time, acting irrationally, hastily, and so out of my character that others around me seemed to notice it too. I don't know what had happened; maybe I was simply lonely, or maybe, I was abducted by aliens and was brainwashed by them to accept the very thing that I have opposed and tried to avoid all this time. Call it whatever you want; temporary insanity, partial lapsed of judgement, or even plain craziness; one fact still remain though, by doing what I thought was abtaining and securing my happiness, I have inadvertantly hurt some people with my actions and choices.
And so, here it is:
I AM SORRY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, TO WHOMEVER THAT HAD BEEN HURT FOR WHAT I DID AT THE TIME. I HAVE NO EXCUSES FOR WHAT I'VE DONE, EXCEPT TO SAY THAT IT WAS REALLY REALLY STUPID, AND I HONESTLY HAVE NEVER EVER INTENDED TO HURT ANYONE. I WAS BLIND, I WAS WRONG, AND THANK GOD I REALISED MY MISTAKES AND STOPPED THINGS BEFORE IT GOT ANY FURTHER.
I VOW AND PROMISE, THAT I WILL NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN, NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS, NOT WHEN I CAN'T BE HONEST WITH THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE. NO MORE. NEVER AGAIN. I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON, AND I'M STRONGER BECAUSE OF IT.
And now, it's already out in the open. In my defense, all contacts with D have been severed since earlier this year itself, and have stopped communications to avoid unnecessary complications since then. And the reason why suddenly this thing resurfaced? I have a niggling feeling that some people just doesn't understand the word "No" and "That's it". Hmmm....maybe I should have said it in several different languages so that I could get my point across...
Berapa kali dah nak cakap, orang dah kata tak nak tu tak nak lah! Apa tak paham-paham bahasa jugak ke?! Dah lah tu, leave me alone and let me be. Let me find my happiness my own way without having to sacrifice my own principles and myself. And if you (sesapa yg terasa la) ever think of nak cari pasal with me or my family, think again. You don't wanna mess with me, trust me. So for your sake, better kau blah.....
THE END.
March 16, 2008
Visiting The Land Of ZZZZZZZ.....
What are dreams? Are they just plain nonsensical scenarios played out when you were in your REM sleep, or is it your unconscious mind that's giving you signals unconsciously? And so, what are nightmares, then? Scary dreams?The reason I asked is because I had another restless night courtesy of a very vivid dream. Funnily enough, as vivid as it were, when I woke up I could only remember bits and pieces of it. What I could remember was that almost all of my family members were in it. Almost ALL of them, close and extended, from both sides of my parents. Imagine how crowded it was, hehe...
Well, let me see if I can recall the dream... Something about the world being in a state of frenzy, like there was an outbreak of a virulent virus spread by a group of power-hungry aliens leading to a global war of some sort, where all of us (the family) were congregating at my late grandparents' place in the middle of the kebun getah (rubber plantation), and surprise surprise, the fate of the world rests in my hands in finding the cure for the viral outbreak because, *smirks*, I AM a brilliant virologist!!
Oh man, I think the dream was a sure sign that I have watched too much of Stargate SG1! Finally finished watching 10 seasons of that sci-fi series in 1 month. No wonder I'm having dreams related to aliens/paranormal situations. Sheesh....
And if you're wondering, YES, I am a sci-fi freak. Restricted to TV series and movies only though. Will tell you in detail about this in the next post because I think it deserves its own post space and title, and plus, at least I'll have a reason to update this blog.
So good night, sweet dreams, and hope I could finally get a peaceful and dreamless REM sleep tonight...
March 11, 2008
Life's Painful Lessons
That's it, I am officially done...
No more wondering, no more restless nights, no more thinking about the what ifs, and no more hoping. I had thought that "This is it, he's the one"..... But oh boy, was I wrong. Again. How could something so right be so wrong? But then again, there's no one else to blame but me for being so gullible and trusting. Should've learned from past mistakes, need to be more ruthless now. Whoa, behold the female hulk!
I'M DONE. With everything that is related to the matters of the heart. No more, not anymore. Enough is enough. There's only so many times a person can take it, and as mine is as fragile as it is, I'd better withdraw from all this before it is shattered into pieces yet again. Okay, heart, I'm gonna take good care of you from now on, so please please please drum that happy beat of yours that I've missed for so long now.....
No, I am not giving up. But at the same time, I'm done hoping either. It is what it is, and life goes on. I need to be the captain of my own lifeboat if don't want it to be lost at sea ever again. Even if there's an emptiness inside that longs to belong to someone and that someone belongs to me, and even if the biological ticking is so loud that it is deafening, never again would I go through all this unless it's gonna be really worth it. Hmmm...looks like it's gonna be a long dreary summer.....
No more wondering, no more restless nights, no more thinking about the what ifs, and no more hoping. I had thought that "This is it, he's the one"..... But oh boy, was I wrong. Again. How could something so right be so wrong? But then again, there's no one else to blame but me for being so gullible and trusting. Should've learned from past mistakes, need to be more ruthless now. Whoa, behold the female hulk!
I'M DONE. With everything that is related to the matters of the heart. No more, not anymore. Enough is enough. There's only so many times a person can take it, and as mine is as fragile as it is, I'd better withdraw from all this before it is shattered into pieces yet again. Okay, heart, I'm gonna take good care of you from now on, so please please please drum that happy beat of yours that I've missed for so long now.....
No, I am not giving up. But at the same time, I'm done hoping either. It is what it is, and life goes on. I need to be the captain of my own lifeboat if don't want it to be lost at sea ever again. Even if there's an emptiness inside that longs to belong to someone and that someone belongs to me, and even if the biological ticking is so loud that it is deafening, never again would I go through all this unless it's gonna be really worth it. Hmmm...looks like it's gonna be a long dreary summer.....
"Stronger"
I'll make it through the rainy days
I'll be the one who stands here longer than the rest
When my landscape changes, rearranges
I'll be stronger than i've ever been
No more stillness, more sunlight,
Everything's gonna be alright
I know that there's gonna be a change
Better find your way out of your fear
If you wanna come with me
Then that's the way it's gotta be
I'm all alone and finally
I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger
Sometimes I feel so down and out
Like emotion that's been captured in a maze
I had my ups and downs
Trials and tribulations,
I overcome it day by day,
Feeling good and almost powerful
A new me, that's what i'm looking for
I didn't know what I had to do
I just knew I was alone
People around me
But they didn't care
So I searched into my soul
I'm not the type of girl that will let them see her cry
It's not my style
I get by
See i'm gonna do this for me
-Sugababes-
Strength Of A Woman
A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape, but ... A woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.
A strong woman isn't afraid of anything, but ... A woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.
A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her, but ... A woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.
A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future, but ... A woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them.
A strong woman walks surefootedly, but ... A woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face, but ... A woman of strength wears grace.
A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey, but ... A woman of strength has faith that in the journey she will become strong.
-anonymous-
So, which one should I be? A strong woman or a woman of strength? Or a little bit of both? Sometimes its easier to be none of the above, and sometimes one doesn't have a choice but to be strong and have the strength to go on living. At times it's exhilarating when others tell you that you're strong, but at times you just wish that you weren't.
The highway of life is not a straight one, it is full of twists and turns and bumps. So really, you don't have any choice but to get up and get going even after you've had that nasty fall. And so, does that makes you a strong person, or a person with strengths, or someone who has no choice but to deal with life's lessons no matter how hard it is? Hmmm, I wonder.....
A strong woman isn't afraid of anything, but ... A woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.
A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her, but ... A woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.
A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future, but ... A woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them.
A strong woman walks surefootedly, but ... A woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face, but ... A woman of strength wears grace.
A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey, but ... A woman of strength has faith that in the journey she will become strong.
-anonymous-
So, which one should I be? A strong woman or a woman of strength? Or a little bit of both? Sometimes its easier to be none of the above, and sometimes one doesn't have a choice but to be strong and have the strength to go on living. At times it's exhilarating when others tell you that you're strong, but at times you just wish that you weren't.
The highway of life is not a straight one, it is full of twists and turns and bumps. So really, you don't have any choice but to get up and get going even after you've had that nasty fall. And so, does that makes you a strong person, or a person with strengths, or someone who has no choice but to deal with life's lessons no matter how hard it is? Hmmm, I wonder.....
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