A State Of Mind

Temporary Insanity:
n. in a criminal prosecution, a defense by the accused that he/she was briefly insane at the time the crime was committed and therefore was incapable of knowing the nature of his/her alleged criminal act. Temporary insanity is claimed as a defense whether or not the accused is mentally stable at the time of trial. One difficulty with a temporary insanity defense is the problem of proof, since any examination by psychiatrists had to be after the fact, so the only evidence must be the conduct of the accused immediately before or after the crime. It is similar to the defenses of "diminished capacity" to understand one's own actions, the so-called "Twinkie defense," the "abuse excuse," "heat of passion" and other claims of mental disturbance which raise the issue of criminal intent based on modern psychiatry and/or sociology. However, mental derangement at the time of an abrupt crime, such as a sudden attack or crime of passion, can be a valid defense or at least show lack of premeditation to reduce the degree of the crime.

taken from Law.com dictionary


Yup, I plead the fifth. I was, unbeknownst to me at the time, acting irrationally, hastily, and so out of my character that others around me seemed to notice it too. I don't know what had happened; maybe I was simply lonely, or maybe, I was abducted by aliens and was brainwashed by them to accept the very thing that I have opposed and tried to avoid all this time. Call it whatever you want; temporary insanity, partial lapsed of judgement, or even plain craziness; one fact still remain though, by doing what I thought was abtaining and securing my happiness, I have inadvertantly hurt some people with my actions and choices.

And so, here it is:

I AM SORRY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, TO WHOMEVER THAT HAD BEEN HURT FOR WHAT I DID AT THE TIME. I HAVE NO EXCUSES FOR WHAT I'VE DONE, EXCEPT TO SAY THAT IT WAS REALLY REALLY STUPID, AND I HONESTLY HAVE NEVER EVER INTENDED TO HURT ANYONE. I WAS BLIND, I WAS WRONG, AND THANK GOD I REALISED MY MISTAKES AND STOPPED THINGS BEFORE IT GOT ANY FURTHER.
I VOW AND PROMISE, THAT I WILL NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN, NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS, NOT WHEN I CAN'T BE HONEST WITH THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE. NO MORE. NEVER AGAIN. I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON, AND I'M STRONGER BECAUSE OF IT.

And now, it's already out in the open. In my defense, all contacts with D have been severed since earlier this year itself, and have stopped communications to avoid unnecessary complications since then. And the reason why suddenly this thing resurfaced? I have a niggling feeling that some people just doesn't understand the word "No" and "That's it". Hmmm....maybe I should have said it in several different languages so that I could get my point across...

Berapa kali dah nak cakap, orang dah kata tak nak tu tak nak lah! Apa tak paham-paham bahasa jugak ke?! Dah lah tu, leave me alone and let me be. Let me find my happiness my own way without having to sacrifice my own principles and myself. And if you (sesapa yg terasa la) ever think of nak cari pasal with me or my family, think again. You don't wanna mess with me, trust me. So for your sake, better kau blah.....

THE END.