Just got the results for Nephrology exam, and I am sooo glad that I passed. Having our seniors telling us that this is one of the hardest paper to pass, you can understand why my nerves were rattled with anxiety, sleepless nights and also bouts of diarrhea prior to the big day!
But then, it wasn't so bad after all. The exam I mean. If you go to all the classes and rounds and studied throughout the session passing won't be a problem. Heck, scoring an A won't be a problem either (and I am a proof of that miracle!)... Anyways, I'm just really relieved that it's over and now could start focusing for other subjects. Adoooiiiii.....
Going through the nephrology cycle wasn't easy for me personally. I have had to battle my own demons and sad memories whenever I set foot in the wards/dialysis units. Being there brought back memories of how it was for me when my late father had to be admitted for renal failure and I was practically living in the hospital too at the time. He was on hemodialysis but due to a lot of complications (post-dialysis hypotension was the major problem), he chose to continue his renal replacement therapy with a CAPD (continous ambulatory peritoneal dialysis). And although the CAPD was working, his heart gave out in the end.
Looking back I wonder how I did it and where did I had the strength to go through all that because now I can't imagine going through all that again. Maybe it's the power of love that was keeping me afloat and sane those days; when it's for someone that you love nothing is impossible. The only thing that I regretted until this day is if only I have had the courage to give him one of my kidneys maybe he would have a better chance of survival. Until now the what ifs plagues my mind, and how I wish I could have done it differently.
If only...
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