Back in the sack

HOLAAAAAAA

Yup, am still alive and kicking. Been bitten by the lazy bug, that's all. A lot has happened since my last post, but 'nuff to say that nothing much has changed though. Home is where I am now and whilst almost all my boxes have arrived safely I fear that a teeny weeny part of was left behind in that God-forsaken place. Like the last i thing I need is to mourn my freedom there. Great, that's just fine and dandy...

Am currently absconded in a small town off the beaten track somewhere up north. The town is so small that everybody knows everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY knew about EVERYTHING no matter how trivial it is. And boy, news do travel fast here. The telegraph has nothing against the gossip mongers. Don't get me wrong though; I love small towns. People are generally friendly and generous and less frigid, but when you feel that your life is like being under a microscope that's when you wish you were somewhere else. In a good way, at least it prevents from any wrongdoings, but in a bad way you can't help but fearing that if you sneeze then word will immediately get around you have the mono, sigh..

My social life is practically DOA. Oh there are/were attempts at matchmaking by concerned parties (friends,, family, mom's friends), but so far it's pathetic as ever. Except for one I supposed, we're only at the stages of getting to know each other but lo and behold, that person is gonna be moving to the east coast for work. Soon. For good. Just when am ready to give it a go God has other plans for me it suppose. Maybe it's a sign for me to just forget this whole stuff of being a pair. Yeah I know, God hates those that give up; human are created pairs; being married completes you, yada yada yada... Well of course I believe everything that they say about the subject matter, but maybe it ain't for me. You know how some people can't dance; teach. And some people can't wed; plan. Enough lah, tired redi. Might as well I focus on my career.

And speaking of work, I am absolutely loving it. I realize that there are still a lot that I need to know about but everyday I learn something new and priceless. My hope and wish that one day I would be able to pursue my dream to specialize, but as for now I am content..

1000 Oceans

The silence is deafening.

Sigh, it is what it is.

C'est la vie...

These tears I've cried.
I've cried a thousand oceans.
And if it seems I'm floating in the darkness
Well, I can't believe that I would keep,
Keep you from flying;
And I would cry a thousand more
If that's what it takes to sail you home,
Sail you home.
Sail you home.

I'm aware what the rules are.
But you know that I will run.
You know that I will follow you
Over Silbury Hill,
Through the solar field.
You know that I will follow you.

And if I find you
Will you still remember playing at trains,
Or does this little blue ball just fade away?

Over Silbury Hill,
Through the solar field,
You know that I will follow you.
I'm aware what the rules are,
But you know that I will run.
You know that I will follow you.

These tears I've cried.
I've cried a thousand oceans.
And if it seems I'm floating in the darkness
Well, I can't believe that I would keep,
Keep you from flying.
So I will cry a thousand more
If that's what it takes to sail you home,
Sail you home,
Sail you home.

-Tori Amos-

D.P.R.S.S.N.

I'm in a downward spiral, falling and falling, and couldn't seem to stop.

Seems that it is true what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And in this case, absence makes one feel sane and complete.

I need to get out. NOW.

Else I'll be back where I was before. No way. No friggin' way.

This has got to stop!

ASTAGHFIRULLAHALAZIM......

Date Night

What do you think about going on a blind date with your mom and the matchmakers in tow?

Awkward?

Yeah you bet.

Last night was a first for me. It was actually kinda funny if it wasn't darn uncomfortable. Being match-made and meeting the person for the first time is one thing; being match-made to someone that I would have never dreamed of ever viewing as a potential date is another.

What would a guy who has everything going on with royalty decorations from two states would wanna do with a simple gal like me??

Felt so awkward and tongue-tied that I ended up being quiet throughout the whole dinner. Thank the stars for mom, she sure has the knack to cover embarrassing situations.

A glance or two, and maybe a line or two of polite conversation. That's it. Nothing more.

No matter if the matchmakers feel that we could hit it off, wouldn't put too high hopes on the outcome. Could feel it in my bones; it's just not meant to be.

Sigh, poor mommy. She'll be disappointed...